A bold, irreverent rock anthem that slaps hard with wit, grit, and brutal honesty. With tongue firmly in cheek and middle finger raised high, this song explores how life’s lessons hit when you least expect them—and often, without warning. It’s a raw, hilarious, and oddly empowering ride through karma, comeuppance, and cosmic justice. Buckle up, because “The Dildo of Consequences” rarely arrives lubed—but it always leaves a mark.
Verse 1
Life’s a game, we play it bold,
Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But when the universe strikes its chord,
You better brace, here comes the sword.
Chorus
Oh, the dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed,
No smooth ride, no easy slide, it’s got a point to prove.
Lessons learned the hard way, babe, you gotta take the groove,
The dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed.
Verse 2
Think you’re slick, you cut a deal,
Karma laughs, it’s all surreal.
You can’t outrun the cosmic play,
It’s coming for you anyway.
Chorus
Oh, the dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed,
No smooth ride, no easy slide, it’s got a point to prove.
Lessons learned the hard way, babe, you gotta take the groove,
The dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed.
Bridge
But hey, don’t fret, don’t cry or moan,
It’s just a part of being grown.
Take your hits, and wear your scars,
They’re what make you who you are.
Final Chorus
Oh, the dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed,
No smooth ride, no easy slide, it’s got a point to prove.
Stand up tall, don’t let it bruise,
The dildo of consequences might just be good news.
Outro
So here’s the deal, my darling friend,
Life’s surprises never end.
Laugh it off, take it in stride,
The dildo of consequences is one wild ride.
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